I keep meaning to relay this weird experience I had a couple of months ago, and how it relates to a thing I observe almost every day on the east coast, and in my notebook this topic is listed as “EAST COAST DRIVERS ARE INSANE” if that gives you any inkling of where I’m going with this.
Back in April or so, I was on the way to Connecticut, and was pulled over because I passed a cop pulling someone over in the right lane and I didn’t “Move Over” in accordance with the just-passed “Move Over” law (by the way, there should be a “New Laws” app so you can be notified, because how are you supposed to find out?) , and when the officer pulled me over he informed me that you are now required to “Move Over” at least one lane and that this was for the safety of the police officers, and I was like “Go ahead and give me a ticket, because I learned to drive in another state—a state where no one gets pulled over to THE SIDE OF THE HIGHWAY, so I did not know this rule,” and he believed that I actually had no knowledge of this law, so he let me go, and now I always “Move Over” because I can be taught, but I just wanted to mention again that no one in California has to “Move Over” because NO ONE GETS PULLED OVER TO THE SIDE OF THE 405 FREEWAY, AND THAT IS INSANE, AND DON’T DO THAT, AND YOU NEED A BETTER LAW.
Seriously, California people—can you please let me know if you’ve seen someone getting pulled over on the side of the 405, or even 101 in Northern Cal, or the 10 in the desert? I have searched my memory several times since this incident, and I believe that every time I’ve seen someone get pulled over on the freeway, the cop pulls the person OFF the freeway and gives them a ticket because no California cop would be insane enough to get out of his/ her car or off his/her motorcycle on the side of a freeway that big. Am I wrong about this? I actually would like to know. I am also going to consult my father, who in case you didn’t know, used to be a California motorcycle cop back in the 1970’s, in the style of CHiPS. I keep meaning to ask him if he had a cop mustache and those reflective glasses back in the day, and whether he has any photos of this because it sounds funny.
So, whatever, I didn’t Move Over, and now I Move Over, but this leads me to the second part of my thought, which is, ok, I learned to drive in California, and I believe that California has the most and largest freeways in the United States of America and (if you’ll recall) I just spent five years living and driving in Los Angeles, home of what I thought were the most insane drivers anywhere.
I thought I was mentally prepared for driving on the east coast, but OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I WAS NOT PREPARED. Another reason I don’t think they should have the “Move Over” law on the east coast is because I have never seen such insane driving in my entire life, and by “insane driving” I mean the speeding, and the tailgating, and the high-speed weaving in and out of traffic, and a whole host of other things that really should make it so moving violations are their own stream of passive income for the east coast states.
I’m not just talking about the actual driving in New York City, which you’d think would be really stressful, and you would be right, and now I have sympathy for cab drivers. My writer friend Jenn and I were actually stopped at a stop light a few weeks ago on the way to Brooklyn, and we came seconds away from running over a woman who walked right in front of my car when there was a police car with its light on right behind us and we were trying to get out of the way, and we both screamed, and then we both said repeatedly how we wanted to go back and lecture that woman because OH MY GOD WHY ARE YOU IN THE STREET but really, this is just another day of driving in New York City, and you could not pay me enough money to be a cab driver, so there’s that.
I’m talking about some high-speed daredevil antics that you can observe any day of the week on the highways and byways north of the city, in Westchester County and Connecticut, which is the very location where I got pulled over for not “Moving Over,” and where last year I was pulled over for having one of my taillights burned out, and I guess what I’m saying is, every time I get pulled over, I’m kind of in disbelief because seriously, why are they not chasing any one of the Evel Knievel-like daredevils who have just flown past me going 120 mph so that I screamed out loud like a little girl, or tailgated me until I was compelled to “Move Over” myself just so they wouldn’t kill me? This is the part that makes no sense to me. Do they pull me over because I am driving more slowly and they just need a break from the Dukes of Hazzard style car chase that probably ensues every single time they want to give someone a ticket for being insane? It seems like there would be a lot more money in that than telling me to “Move Over,” but anyway, highway patrol in New York and Connecticut must know that people drive this way, which is even more reason for them to require their officers to make people pull all the way off the highway when they are giving tickets, because honestly, it does not seem to me like you could “Move Over” enough to get out of the way of a semi going over 100 on the open road.
Anyhow, now I know to move over, but I think this is one situation where California just does a better job. If I wasn’t white-knuckling out there, I would take video of some of the seriously insane things I have seen out there, like two guys drag racing down the FDR.
In conclusion, MOVE OVER.
